At the age of 17, I left the US to go live in Switzerland to study and travel all by my lonesome. It was a fabulous semester of expanding as a person and wearing out my Eurail pass. 

The one problem?

I didn’t want it to end.

But, I couldn’t afford to stay abroad.

So, I researched my options and signed up at an au pair agency . After fielding offers from different families around the globe, I accepted an offer to be an au pair for a Dutch family in a suburb/village outside of Amsterdam, the Netherlands, in 2003.

(An au pair is basically a cultural-exchange nanny.)

I spent 6 months in full cultural immersion, living with this Dutch family of two kids, Katinka (8) and Pepijn (4). I worked 4 days a week, received full room and board + round-trip airline ticket from the US, and got a stipend of €300 a month (back in 2003).

My primary duties were:

-Transportation: I took the kids to and from school (including lunch time, when schools in Holland shut down) on those ubiquitous bikes. Even the four year old was already a master bike rider.

-Cooking/Cleaning: I did light “straightening up” every day around the house, although the family had a cleaning service that came in once a week. I also cooked two meals a week. (I eventually developed a cooking rhythm, but I made some really bad meals for a while, until I figured out what some of the words in the grocery store  meant.)

The Pros to Being an Au Pair:

-I could afford to live in another country!

-Due to the 4 day a week schedule and all evenings off, it allowed me a lot of flexibility for exploring Amsterdam and getting to travel around. I took a number of trips outside of Holland.

-I developed a strong circle of Dutch friends in Amsterdam and a week-day circle of international au-pair friends in the village I worked.

-There’s no better way, in my opinion, to immerse yourself in a culture than to live with people from that culture. In that way, there will always be these little things I know about the Dutch, little sayings, quirky foods, etc.

-I developed my opinions and world-outlook over political discussions with the Dutch family and my different-nationality-friends. (Timeline: I was an au pair when Bush announced war on Iraq. That was fun to try to explain to everyone.)

Now, the cons:

-The family you work for probably has just as much sh*t going on as the one you grew up in. The family I worked for had their own arguments and power struggles going on. As an au pair you get a front-row seat, but at least you’re not emotionally involved.

-As an au-pair you’re never going to be “part” of the family. Yes-that is what the definition of an au pair usually states; however, this very rarely happens. But that was ok with me. I already had a family; I needed a job. (Although, I did grow to love those little rugrats and I think about them to this day.) :)

-Resonsibility is not necessarily a con, but if you’re looking for something completely care-free, being an au pair is not the right fit, as you are indeed caring for someone else’s precious children. Early morning wake-up calls, getting them to and from school on time, and watching out for their general safety is protocol.

-The language barrier was a bit of a struggle dealing with the kids, as I spoke no Dutch prior to living with the family. The 8 yr old knew the basics of English, but the four yr old and I developed a form of pidgeon Dutch/English. Even though we managed to get by on the basics of Dutch and English I always wished I could have had more in-depth discussions with them.

But overall:

If you love kids and want to travel the world, I can definitely recommend the experience. In a subsequent post, I will pose my tips for finding the best family for you in your au pair search.

text: Nancy Harder/photo: Dino de Luca & Brian Wilson