Two weeks ago, Mr. Gnome and I went on a 4 day meditation and yoga retreat  up in the mountains of NC. My honey gave me the trip as our (first) anniversary present. We had no idea what to expect on our first meditation/yoga retreat when we left; here’s some of the knowledge we accumulated during our trip:

What to pack: Bring a journal, pen, loose clothes that are comfortable to move and sit in, an alarm clock for those early wake-up calls, a yoga mat, and meditation supplies. Most retreats will, likely, provide zafus  (pillows), zabutons   (mats), and meditation benches , but some people like to bring their own. You can also bring other yoga supplies  like straps, heavy blankets, and/or blocks. I, personally, liked experimenting with the different ways of sitting and tried almost every position I could with the assortment of supplies.

 What to leave at home: Leave your computer, cell phone, ipod and other media at home. Our retreat even dissuaded bringing books. A retreat like this is just about being with your self. Try leaving your to-dos at home too. (On the seven hour drive, Mr. G and I went through all of our to-dos, wrote those thoughts on slips of paper, and put them in a little grocery bag. We told ourselves we could pick those thoughts up again at the end of the 4-day weekend.)

What to expect: Every retreat is different, but the widely applicable piece of advice I have to give would be to go with the flow. For example, we didn’t know that the whole 4 days would be in complete silence. (Happy anniversary to me! ) However, the “noble silence” (as they called it) ended up being a profound teacher, once I got past the anger and discomfort I experienced the first two days.

The silence even included not looking people into their eyes, as this was considered “verbal” communication. Despite feeling very challenged with this new behavior, it ended up being a huge tool to examine the true nature of social graces and my use of them. The following questions arose: How much were my reactions governed by the need for validation? How much was with gratitude to connect with the other person?  How much was for an obscure feeling of societal pressure, but not really understanding why I communicated in different ways?

The most challenging part of the retreat, other than the silence, was all the sitting. We sat for about 6 meditation sittings a day at 30 minutes each. Both the body and the mind became stiff, bored, and sleepy at different points. My mind experienced “monkey mind” (as it’s called in meditation when the mind jumps to and from.) It became amusing to see just how far my mind could travel. It wanted to do everything from build my dream house to re-hash arguments from years ago to plan what I was going to do with the rest of my life. After many sittings just letting my mind “do its thing” I began to utilize some of the techniques the teachers had given us, like observing our thoughts with a non-judging mind and letting them pass, not ascribing truth or power to the thoughts. Finally by the third day I experienced I feeling of nothingness and openness in meditation, a first in my meditation practice.

How to get the most of your time: Embracing mindfulness is the #1 piece of advice I have to give. Try practicing mindfulness while you’re eating, walking, doing chores around the retreat center (I got assigned to collect kindling), or any other activity. This could be, simply, “I know I’m stepping with my right foot. I know I’m stepping with my left foot.” If approached with mindfulness, every activity can become a meditation. Once I stepped into this behavior, it became a luxurious contrast against my normal “helter skelter” lifestyle and mindset.

What to do once you’re home: Be kind to yourself and ease back into a world that moves at a faster pace than the retreat. It can be somewhat shocking to merge back into our 24/7, over-stimulated culture. Take a day off to relax, resume some meditation and yoga, and reflect upon your experiences.

text: Nancy Harder/photos: Federico Stevanin